52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life - Weeks Six & Eight

Week six: Goal setting and priorities

I am not one for planning too far in advance, I like to live more in the moment and take each day as it comes. I do however love to set myself goals. I am very realistic in my goals and possibly border on the conservative, but as part of my self-development journey I strive to be the best possible version of myself. When I reach a goal, I like to set another. I have discovered in the past that setting goals often sets the path for working towards bigger dreams. It reminds me that no matter how challenging, achieving goals induces motivation and more drive, and once I achieve a goal the rewards are priceless.

After discussing with my boys what we see for our family in weeks three and four of the SYL12 challenge, I realised we shared the same motivation for a relaxed and calm home. I strongly believe we are what we create, and our home is what we create. So if we strive for relaxed and calm, relaxed and calm it will be. Now as easy as that sounds there is work and awareness involved. Obviously we still feel anger and stress at times, but learning to leave that at the door when we step inside is something we work hard at. And the results are ours to enjoy.

In keeping with the relaxed atmosphere we enjoy I have set a goal to achieve a proportionate work/life balance. As I have previously mentioned, I have always worked fulltime, since I left high school in fact. It is all I have known in my entire adult life. I have noticed, particularly over the last few years, that my drive leans more to the ‘life’ side of the work/life balance scale than it has done in the past. I used to assume work as a fact of life, something we need to take responsibility for, and something we need to put as much effort into as all other aspects of our lives. I still think this is true however, my interest leans much more heavily into the family side of life now. When I was single I didn’t mind working 12-16 hours a day, doing overtime on my days off. I worked like that for a good decade in the casino industry, and I quite enjoyed it. Now however, I don’t mind admitting my motivation to work so hard has slowly but surely diminished and I crave to spend more and more time at home. This leads me to my goal of establishing more of a work/life balance, tipping the scales over more into the ‘life’ side.

I have already started to put this into motion by recently reducing my work days to four and a half days a week rather than five. The impact of working half a day less is remarkable, even only two weeks in. This in turn creates more balance in time spent at home and the knock on effect there is amazing. I now have half a weekday to get all those jobs done that need doing and I never make time for being at work all day, every weekday – getting tradespeople in to get things done on the house, making those business hours phone calls I don’t usually get to make, housework. A small step with huge results. And I feel this is only the start of me balancing life a little more over to my family and home side rather than have it teetering in the middle with work.

My second goal relates to my passion, writing. I only rediscovered my passion for writing last July when I started my blog. Since then I have opened a whole new part of my mind and soul that has been craving creativity. As part of this recent realisation I have decided, quite quickly, that I intend to make writing a bigger part of my life. After taking the plunge and submitting my very first magazine article (which by the way will be featured next month) I decided this year was going to have a heavy writing influence. My goal for 2012 is to write one magazine article per month. I may or may not submit each month’s article, however I will write 12 articles this year. It doesn’t seem a lot on its own however I also write my blog, write a monthly blog post for We Heart Life and manage the social media for a small local business. Writing seems to have taken over my world over the past six months, and I love it!

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Week eight: Happiness defined

I found this week of the challenge the easiest. I have been actively striving towards a consistent state of happiness for many, many years. And although as Deb mentions, no-one is happy 24/7, no-one is in a permanent state of sheer happiness every moment of every day. I am however a big believer that we create our own happiness. Yes I have moments of feeling flat, maybe even moments of feeling blue, but I accept those moments without completely succumbing to them, and move on as soon as I allow myself (which is usually very quickly). I am happy as I choose to be happy.

Making a list of things that make me happy is too easy, and as you will notice it ranges from the trivial (coffee) to the simple.

♥ My son’s smile.

♥ Chinwags with my boys on a Friday night after a long week.

♥ Cooking.

♥ Blogging.

♥ Writing.

♥ My morning coffee.

♥ My Friday night coffee.

♥ Saturday mornings.

♥ No alarm on the weekends.

♥ Supermarket shopping.

♥ A full pantry and fridge.

♥ Fresh flowers on my dining table and kitchen window sill.

♥ The smell of my son’s cheek.

♥ Seeing my husband and son talk boys stuff.

♥ Summer.

♥ Days at the beach.

♥ Email from my Mum.

♥ My Mum’s beautiful artwork (of which I have on my walls).

♥ Anything Finnish.

♥ Spending time with my brother and his family.

I could go on. I think it’s safe to say it is the simple and smallest moments that bring me most joy. These simple moments are what make me truly happy. Practicing them daily is easy, it’s how I prefer to spend my time.

What moments bring you most joy? What stands out on your list of things that makes you happy?

52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life - Weeks Three & Four

I have fallen behind with my Simplify Your Life Challenge, I think I have been living a little too simply these past weeks! Summer invokes a LOT of beach time and as a result I become very relaxed. Okay lazy. So this weekend I decided to focus on my SYL12 challenge and have done a catch up of weeks three and four together. Fittingly, as much as I find this challenge takes a bit of thinking, I have decided 2012 is the year I follow my passion, really follow my passion. My focus is always on my family as I often mention, and in past years I have focused strongly on my career. But this year is more about tapping into my authentic self and following my heart's desires - writing being at the core of those desires. So I love where this challenge is going, I can see how it will tie in further along with me following my dreams.

Week three: Family maxim 

Anyone that knows me would know family to me is everything. Family comes second to none other; it is always, without a doubt, first. So writing up a mission statement felt weird at first, as Deb outlines it's something we often associate with big companies. And since we place such a strong focus on ‘us’ all the time it felt unnatural to question one another about our values and intentions. But as challenging as it first felt I still gave it a shot, and discovered it wasn’t difficult at all. I really enjoyed it.

I could have just written it out myself, I knew very well what my boys (husband and son) would say. And I wasn’t wrong. These are the questions I asked and our answers, we mostly answered the exact same things and wound up with the same responses to each question. The words ‘relax’ and ‘beach’ were my son’s favourite responses. He is his mother's son.

What is important to us as a family?

Relax time, love, speaking kindly to each other.

We are our happiest when?

We are together, we are relaxed, we are at the beach.

What would we enjoy doing more of?

Spending quality time together, being at the beach, relaxing.

And less of?

Work, technology.

How do we want our home to be?

Peaceful, full of laughter.

How do we see us as a family unit?

Happy, loving, fun.     

So our family maxim as drafted by me (and agreed to by the boys) is as follows:

Our family is all about love and kindness.

We enjoy us most when we are relaxing.

Our home is our place to relax, laugh and enjoy each other’s company.

We value one another.

We strive to enjoy quality time together.       

It reads quite simply when worded this way and I guess that reflects our family perfectly. We like to keep it simple, we like to keep it kind. And most of all we love our family.

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Week four: Balance and the wheel of life

I found this week really easy. Like week three I found a similar pattern to what my boys and I think are important and where they placed on our wheel of life. The wheel of life is essentially a tool to establish key areas and how they stand in your life and where you place your energy to maintain balance. I was happy (although not surprised) at the placement of family and how high it rated.

Areas we consistently place a strong focus on - family, fun, health, well being and self-development - placed high up at either four or five. Areas like home (this pertains to the state and order, or lack of, in our house), community and particularly work/life balance rated a little lower at two or three. These are areas I would like to focus on to achieve more balance. We work hard at maintaining balance on family, fun and health etc so I feel we have those areas balanced quite nicely at the moment. I think it's fair to assume which areas we'll be looking at when we start setting goals. I'm excited!

52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life - Week Two

I really love week two of Home Life Simplified’s SYL12 challenge - define your values. I had just finished writing about why I love growing up and how much I love the changes that come about with age. This week’s challenge enabled me to get down deep and identify my personal values, and I really enjoyed it.

I talk a lot about my values. I am vocal about them firstly as I stand by them and have no problem sharing them with those around me. Secondly I talk and think about them to keep them cemented. I base my day-to-day life on my values and make decisions based on my values. I refer to my values when I am faced with conflict and they have in essence given me personal power to be confident and stand by my truth. This week's challenge was to narrow down your personal values to the five that mean the most.

One: Family. This is a no-brainer for me and I didn’t even have to think about it. Every decision, big or small, is made with my family in mind. My day starts and ends with my family. My life is my family.

My family went through a very difficult time several years ago and it gave me a deeper appreciation for my loved ones. I don’t ever take them for granted and I relish in every moment shared. My family defines me, it is what makes me truly happy.

Two: Positivity. I am an optimistic person by nature, I genuinely see the good in all things. If something isn’t working out how I want I endeavor to either change it or see the good in it. I believe there is good in everyone, I look for that in people. I don’t see the benefit in self-pity and would rather see the brighter side in situations. This isn’t always easy especially when surrounded with negative vibes, but I have become very good at switching off and not letting negative energy zap my positive energy.

Three: Self-development. I believe before we start dreaming about changing the world we need to look inwards. I strive to be my personal best, and that can only be achieved by me working on ‘me’. The way we handle life and what it throws at us depends solely on our own responsibility and self-awareness. If I can use my best characteristics to make my life that little bit easier then I think I am doing my best. The challenge and struggle is all in my own head, so I work on that. I am always striving to be a better person, not just for those around me but for myself. I will benefit more than anyone else by improving my thoughts, my actions, my reactions and my ability to handle life’s challenges. I want calm, I strive for calm.

Four: Kindness. I have to admit I haven’t always been kind. I have had moments of nastiness towards others, and quite simply it didn’t feel very good. I don’t enjoy nastiness – being on the receiving or giving end of it. I have made a pact with myself to always try to be kind to others. I work on it every day and see it as a lifelong value.

Five: Acceptance. I used to find myself judging in my own head. I would feed inner dialogue on others’ choices or what I deemed to be less favourable to my own choices. I ceased doing that. I now try to accept others and their choices. And by accept I don’t mean just not discussing it, but fully accepting it and not entering into my opinions in my own head. Unless something directly affects me, I have given up worrying about others’ choices. I accept others have their own reasons and their own ways, that’s ok. Just as I would stand up for my own choices, I have no right to judge others. Acceptance feels so much more positive and less worrying, removing those judgemental thoughts opens up space for more creative and positive thinking. Too easy.

If you are keen on simplifying your life take a look at Deb’s 52 week challenge. Or even if you are not keen on joining in just check out what some others have written. Life becomes so much more enjoyable in my opinion, when we can focus on the positive development side. I love it. I for one am a big advocate of self-awareness and growth, so this challenge is right up my alley.

52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life - Week One

{image source: Pinterest}

I have been striving towards living a positive and calm existence for many years now, so it was fine work by the universe when I came across a blog that shares the same underlying message. Deb of Home Life Simplified is committed to helping and supporting others to establish a simplified life and has just kicked off a challenge that will span this entire year. 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life is Deb’s challenge where she invites others to join her in creating a supportive and encouraging community. Within this community she will coach and mentor others to help them create the life they want. I’m in!

Week one: Focus on the positive.

Where do I start! I had a fabulous year, all the fruits of my labour started to flourish and flower in 2011, I feel like this was the year where things started to finally ‘click’ for me. My focus on family over the past years was solidified by the close-knit feel among my family. We are tight, we are strong. We know as long as we stick together we can get through whatever life throws our way. It hasn’t always been easy and I understand it won’t always be, however knowing my family have my back (and I have theirs) is very comforting indeed. My family energises me, they remind me how important I am to them, they love me. I am my happiest when I am around my family. Nothing else matters, I don’t sweat the small stuff as long as my family are well and happy. Nothing else truly matters.

With the confidence I get from my family I have been very fortunate for the second part of 2011 to realise my dream of writing, and with their constant support I have put myself out there firstly by starting this blog and secondly to pursue other writing commitments. I have astounded myself with my efforts and my achievements in such a short time. And I know wholeheartedly that I have had that confidence purely due to the kind words of encouragement from my family and close friends.

I don’t like to write new year’s resolutions, but if I can continue in the same direction with the same level of support I know my dreams will only continue to flourish over years to come. And for all of that I am truly grateful.