Morning

Image by Anna Inghardt

I am not much of a morning person. Nor am I a fan of winter. Combine the bleak morning chill with darkness before dawn breaks and I am at my least creative, least constructive and least friendly.

I returned from living in the tropics in 1996 and I have quite uncomfortably grappled with the winter months every single year since. I try to deny the fact that winter is approaching once the heat of summer says goodbye, and when the chill does hit I pretend to ignore it. If I don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist. Except the constant pain in my neck from a childhood head-on-collision injury and the ache in my bones are fierce, stark reminders that winter in fact is upon us.

I don’t much like winter. Dry skin craving moisture, garden craving sunshine, bikini craving beach visit; everything around me tells me the cold is here. I rug up to keep warm and get too hot. I dress down to cool down and get too cold. I have a scarf permanently attached to my neck to humour the old neck injury. I cover my ankles to keep the chill away and then smile at the mockery of the pink ugg boots adorning my feet. How did I become so dorky? Winter is how. My pink fluffy dressing gown keeps me company at dawn, so what of it? My bikini is laughing at me from the spot I left it hanging over my shower screen some months ago. I gaze at it some mornings, like a lovesick lover pining for what once was. I know my bikini will come to life again soon. Any day now.

I don’t like to count the days away, God knows time flies by way too fast. But secretly, oh so quietly, I do count the days until spring. After I down my second cup of coffee for the morning I peer outside and smile when I see the sun smiling back. Still grateful for the small things such as a winter that barely reaches below zero degrees, a winter that in some countries can be classed as a mild summer. But when it hits 40 degrees and I am perched on the sand in my long lost bikini I won’t be thinking of this brisk winter morning. I will humbly count my blessings that I live in a country with such a beautiful summer and that I was born a summer child. And very quietly, oh so begrudgingly, I will be dreading the fact that in the back of my mind I know, as sure as the sun is shining, that winter will be back again someday soon.

Midweek bliss

Image by Krista Keltanen

♥ Long drawn out morning coffee ♥ Jeans and t-shirts ♥ Ugg boots, not stilettos ♥ Dinner cooked at lunch time ♥ Daytime TV (I know, probably won’t happen, but it could) ♥ Writing all day ♥ Afternoon naps ♥ Midweek laughs with my bestie (I can’t wait to sit on her deck in the sunshine and whittle away the hours chatting) ♥ Breakfast sitting down, not eaten on the run ♥ Dog walks, shop runs ♥ Afternoon tea in the sun ♥ Phone chats ♥ I might even get through my email for once! ♥ Reading, oh I can’t wait to lay on the lounge with a good book, during the day, midweek (this is so novel I can’t even imagine what this will feel like) ♥ No rushing ♥ No peak hour traffic ♥ No watching the time every five minutes for the first two hours of my day ♥ Phone on silent. House silent. Head silent. ♥

Three weeks and counting. My life as I have known it for 23 years will change and my heart and soul cannot wait. I can't stop smiling, thinking of the freedom that will prevail. I have loved my career and feel incredibly blessed for the opportunities I have been presented with (truly blessed), but I am ready.

At one point, when I first started to realise I no longer loved working full time, I had planned to retire when I hit 50. FIFTY YEARS OLD! That is nine years away, how would I have lasted another nine years of full time, five days a week work? Impossible. I have been ready for this for a long time. I am so glad I listened to my authentic self.

Three weeks and counting.

Calm over ego

Image by Anna Inghardt

I had an interesting conversation with my stylist Tanya yesterday. I enjoy our discussions. We often discuss books, what our families are up to, culture (she is a proud Greek who oozes culture), celebrities we think are hot (Ruby Rose comes up a lot, by me) and yesterday, self-development and behaviour. We were discussing how we handle confrontation and conflict, and I shared with her my newly adapted approach to handling aggressive people.

When someone approaches me with anger and clearly they are looking for a reaction, I have adopted this glazed over look. I just stare at them, making serious eye contact but neither smiling nor frowning. Just blank and expressionless. I imagine to the aggressor it’s not really obvious if I am even present or not. Lights are on but blondie has well and truly left the building. I wait until the rant is over, then I sit for about 10 seconds, to which I then respond, “What would you like me to do?” The reaction I have received to this approach so far has been surprise, stutters of “um, er, well…” and sheer confusion. You see in my opinion, as the owner of an aggressive side in the past, someone bursting into your space with rage and a mouthful of anger is simply looking for a punching bag, someone to cop their irate babble. And I am sorry to say that I am not that person. Actually, I am not even that sorry.

On my own little journey of self-development over the years I have learnt something very valuable. No-one can make me feel a certain way. How I react to someone’s words, opinions or actions is totally within my control. No person can make me feel anything. So when someone approaches me with aggression looking for someone to blame their anger on, I make it clear with nothing more than a blank expression on my face that they got it wrong. I am not the reason, be it direct or otherwise, for them feeling angry. They choose to be angry. And if it is over the way I acted, still their choice to be angry. I can apologise for my behaviour if I did wrong, but I will never, ever accept I made someone feel a certain way. You know I can’t make you feel angry, right? Right.

In my 20s I was very fiery natured. I had a hot temper and I could fly off the handle within seconds over the smallest of incident. Over the past few years however I have found myself mellowing, a lot. Recently a very laidback friend told me I am very ‘laidback’. I know I am, but it still surprises me coming from someone who is mellow themselves, as I always remember how feisty I used to be. My  mellowness even surprises me sometimes. 

Tanya asked me if I have always handled confrontation so calmly, and I told her I haven’t. I know from my own experiences that handling it in a calm manner feels best. When you allow yourself to be overcome by emotion as a result of someone else’s aggressiveness you gain nothing. Ego wants us to respond, ego wants us to argue, ego wants us to ‘win’. But you know what, I am more than happy to let the aggressor ‘win’ if it means not responding or engaging. I’ll take inner calm over victory for the ego any day.

In the land of my dreams

Image by Anna Inghardt

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." ~Will Rogers

I am so inspired. That fire in the belly I wrote about here is roaring with gusto and life. The spark has been ignited like never before and is burning bright. I can see the path ahead of me, clear as day. I don’t know where it leads to but I do know it will be full of excitement and inspiration. I don’t know how I know, I just do.

No more than a week ago I got the great news that I could reduce my full time day job down to part time, very part time as in two days a week. The spare days I would usually be working will be spent pursuing my love of writing. I have to admit I am not rolling in money, nor am I probably even going to be able to cover my living expenses on time at the start, but somehow I am not afraid. I am nervous with excitement, but not afraid. I was more afraid of not taking the leap and slowly dying inside living as is expected rather than how I truly want to. A wise friend told me that when we follow our authentic self and do what our heart truly desires, the money will follow. I liked that statement, I trust it. Strangely I am not afraid.

In less than a week I have booked myself into a writing course that commences in less than two weeks. I sat staring at the screen about to register myself and for a split second my false self threw in the thought of “but, it’s so soon, will you have time?” I immediately clicked on the 'register' button. My false self has no place here in the land of my dreams. No place. I also have a photography course booked with a very dear friend of mine. We will spend the day out and about with photographers, learning and being inspired. I like where this is heading.

So if you wake up one day and your false self taunts you saying you cannot follow your dreams, tell it to rack off. Of course you can. I am. And I have no back up plan, no secret savings account to fall back on, no rich daddy to throw money my way when things get tight. But I do have the fire in my belly. And I can assure you, that fire makes me feel more alive than security ever did.

Who Am I?

Image by Theo Gosselin

Today Eden posed the question “Who are you?” as part of her Fresh Horses Brigade. I like horses. My dad promised me a horse as a kid. I didn’t get one. And I have absolutely no hang ups about that. That’s probably one quality I like about myself, I forgive easily. I’m too busy living to hold grudges. Why carry all that unnecessary baggage around in my head over something I cannot change? I probably would have lost interest in the horse anyway.

I ask myself this “who am I” question every day. Last week sitting curled up on the couch watching TV and eating greasy takeaway I wondered who the hell I was. I don’t curl up on the couch, I don't watch TV, I don’t eat greasy takeaway. But apparently I do. And then I remembered what my best friend told me recently, about me.

I don’t do things by halves. I am either all in or running off without so much as a ‘catch ya’. This, I understand, makes me appear complex to others who don't know me so well. I find it hard to keep an active social circle going as I am knee deep into my few close friendships that I find it hard to devote my heart and soul fully to others. So I don’t. I just don’t do things by halves. So while I am talking to you, I am talking to you. I won’t say yes to spending time with someone unless I really want to. I won’t attend a function to be seen, or to make my Facebook check-ins look awesome. I have to really want to go, or I don’t. I’m just not a half-assed kinda gal.

This gun-ho or go-home attitude is often my enemy. I loathe alcohol and what it does to people so don’t touch it for months. Next thing I am wondering if one small vodka at breakfast time is okay. I avoid eating meat for six months, now I can’t get enough of it. I can’t stand the thought of being away from home outside of work hours so hibernate for six months, next thing my feet are itchy and all I want to do is go out, go out, go out. I hate TV, then I watch TV. I feel like a walking contradiction at times, I want to do things in a balanced manner, I do. But I just don’t.

I work my ass off and hate it. I don’t want to work anymore. I want to retire and spend my afternoons in Miller Fashion Club white ¾ cut-offs and trim rose bushes in the afternoon sun with a full face of make up and primped hair. I want to feel mature, I don’t want to grow up. I’m an escape artist, I run at the first sign of trouble. I hate drama, I avoid it. If you bring drama into my life I will also avoid you. I am drawn to creative creatures and people who get things done. I myself am a doer, ties in nicely with the whole ‘not half-assed’ thing.

It has taken me many years to see myself as I am. Sometimes I am still unsure. Recently a stranger told me she thought I was very grounded after reading my blog. I smiled to myself, I really wanted to believe her.

I remember in my mid 30s I felt really quite disconnected from others my age, I felt as though I was slightly behind the eight ball in terms of maturity, wanting to be more responsible and sensible. Now at 41 I want to be less responsible and maybe even slightly reckless. I guess that’s where the vodka for breakfast idea jumps in.

So I leapt

Image by Anna Inghardt

Today was monumental. 

I have been talking for a while about putting my dream into motion. I made the conscious decision to act on my dream 7 months ago, as I wrote here. I couldn’t share too much earlier on about how I would achieve my dream as the bulk of how it would eventuate was relying on my full time job. I don’t blog about my job, I keep my personal and work life very separate, and my blog is about me on a personal level. I rarely talk about my day once I leave the office let alone write about it. However to share my joyous news I am going to partially break my own no-talking-about-work pact.

To give you an insight, I co-own a small business. I also work there full time. I have worked full time since I left high school, some ten years ago. Ok, over two decades ago (I’m 41, yeah whatever). 23 years to be exact, 23 years of full time employment. I am exhausted. I’m done. I am sociable by nature so I love going in to spend the day with my colleagues and staff, but I have reached a point where I simply want to be home more. I want to not have to spend five mornings a week rushing around preparing for my day in the office. I don't want to ride that treadmill anymore, jumping on as the alarm goes off and jumping off at bedtime every weeknight. I didn’t take maternity leave or have a year at home after my son was born, I went back to work weeks after his birth. I have missed assemblies and school excursions. I haven’t had the opportunity to pick my child up from school every day. I haven’t had the opportunity to be able to cook dinner before 6pm on weekdays. I haven’t had the opportunity to come home after the school run and enjoy my morning coffee or make my bed at a leisurely pace rather than flinging the doona over as I am trying to find something to wear. I’ve missed all that. My choice, but it hasn’t been easy.

Enter my blog. I started my blog on a whim July last year and it has been the catalyst for me realising my love of writing. I came to the realisation last year that the one thing I want to do every day is write. I want to focus on myself, my home and my child. I want to focus on spending my day pleasing my soul. I am not a ‘carer’ by nature (you know, those kinds of people who just love to mother others and love to go out of their way to make sure others are happy?) and yet I have wound up in roles whereby the majority of my responsibility was caring for others and ensuring others' needs were met. Now it’s my turn.

Today I received the best news I could have imagined. My request to change my full time management role to a part-time business role, two days a week, was granted. I cannot tell you how happy my heart is. I can’t even start to imagine what this means for me and my dream. I will have three days (maybe two, I might give myself an extra day off) to concentrate on my writing. I can take photos and get stuck into my love of food photography. I might even do that graphic design course I have been dreaming of. And I can attend school assembly if I want and pick my child up from school. I can shower at noon if I like. I probably will.

I felt terribly scared of this move when I first started to think about it. What if I don’t get enough work, what if I can’t pay my mortgage? I will, somehow I will. All I know is that if I continued on doing what my heart was no longer passionate about I would slowly die inside. And my creative soul wasn’t letting me get away with that.

So I leapt.

Summer dreaming

Image by Ali Mitton

I know I am missing summer when I start dreaming about the ocean.

Last night I dreamt that I perched myself on someone’s beautifully manicured lawn in a beautiful leafy suburb. I unfolded a chair and just sat myself down. Within moments an Owen Wilson look-alike rocked up. He was skateboarding on the street in front of me, his blonde tousled locks bouncing around happily in the sun. Then a blonde European tourist turned up, (how do we know the background of people in our dreams?) and another, and before I knew it there was a friendly street party taking place in the middle of the day on some stranger’s front lawn under the shade of big, leafy trees. I was recording the summer capers on my iPhone, taking photos of smiling faces and the sun glistening on the bronzed shoulders of the European tourists. They were skateboarding and dancing to summer tunes, smiling faces filling up the lawn.

Before I woke up the party wound up in the ocean. Owen Wilson’s doppelgänger and the blonde tourists were riding the waves. Suddenly my nephew was present – might have something to do with the fact I spend a lot of time at the beach with him – and we were laughing and smiling at the antics of a few friendly dogs paddling around us. Dogs? Yeah I know, no idea.

My dream ended among summer smiles and splashing surf, it was the epitome of summer bliss as it is in my real world. I woke up realising it was in fact still winter.

I miss summer.

In the clouds

Image by me

As a perceptive person I can tend to take on moods of others too easily. It bothers me, I hate it. I try my hardest to side step bad moods radiating from people around me however in the past I have found it hard to ignore them. I am not sure why others’ moods affect me so much, I have often wondered why I let them. I think it may have something to do with wanting everyone around me to be happy. And perhaps I am sensitive by nature.

It’s a fact that we create our own environment. Think negative and you’ll feel negative. It's disconcerting how much of an impact a person’s demeanour can have on those around them. Put one negative character in a group of people and watch their negativity spread to another. This is how gossip and negative banter ensues, one person starts and others jump in. It’s a vicious cycle and one I try very hard to steer away from. It’s not always easy though.

I try very hard to teach my son to see the bright side of all situations.  Sometimes letting him acknowledge something isn’t fun or happy is essential though, life won’t always sprout daisies and sunshine. The reality is there are situations that make us sad, or situations we cannot avoid or alter. Accepting that is part of life, and I think will only reduce the expectation that every minute has to be amazing. However when it comes to being positive I am a huge advocate of glass half full. If I can see light in a tough situation I will focus on that rather than the darkness. I try to instill this approach in my son.

Negativity is destructive. It sucks good energy and takes up space where creativity and joy should live. Negativity breeds negativity, it manifests in all other areas of our lives if we feed it and allow it to reside in our day. I believe it is a trait of a limited mind. While one is wasting time focusing on being negative they are missing out on all that is wondrous around them. Wouldn’t it be much more enjoyable to seek out the positive and focus on that? I think so. Quite simply a smile feels more joyous than a frown.

So how do we avoid negativity and not let it impact on us? I have worked hard on this for a few years now and I feel I am getting quite constructive at managing negativity around me. Essentially what I remember is this: I cannot control how those around me act, however how I react is totally in my control. Not reacting, rather responding, to negative people is the key for me. In the first instance I will always avoid. I am not one for sweeping issues aside and much prefer to resolve problems, but I am all for avoiding negativity. It’s destructive in my opinion and serves me absolutely no purpose. My creative soul loathes it. I run a mile. But if I cannot avoid it and it surrounds me, I don’t react. I smile, I offer constructive solutions (if the negativity is a result of an issue) and I simply avoid taking on the emotions attached and focus on the facts. It sounds easy in theory and has taken a lot of practice on my part, but I can gladly say I have become quite the master at avoiding negativity.

Back to head up in the clouds for me. The world looks amazing from up here.

Upward

Image by Theo Gosselin

Friendships can be a tricky thing. Most grievances I hear from others are about misunderstandings with friends, brought about mostly by disappointment in another when expectations are not met. I don’t like expectations. Expectations only ever lead to disappointment. I approach my friendships differently, I never, ever expect anything. And in return I always find I am pleasantly surprised.

I have had the same four best friends for all of my adult life. They are very different characters, with very different backgrounds and upbringings. Each of them brings joy into my life in their own very unique way. One friend I can share my deepest fears and secrets with. We can whittle away hours and hours just talking and laughing and sharing. She is the one who gets me, who really gets me. And she celebrates who I am without judgement, in fact she encourages even my silliest sides. I can call her in despair and an hour later she has reminded me of the good in any situation or consoled me through the bad. Another friend I’ve known since birth. She knows absolutely everything about my childhood and why I am the person I am today. We have history, she is the one familiar thing throughout my entire life along with my family. My third bestie is a crazy girl who I met and loved instantly as a naive and untravelled 23 year old. She would be one of my soul mates, I have learned so many life lessons from her. She was by my side during one of my darkest times of my 20s and she single-handedly kept my head above water. We don’t talk for months and yet when we get on the phone it’s like I saw her yesterday. We have been to some crazy places and done some crazy things. A true, lifelong mate. My fourth best friend is an inspiration, she aspires to be herself and I love that about her. We connect in a way best friends do, we just do. All four of these girls bring something into my life like no other, they are all unique and I often think how amazingly fortunate I am that they choose to be around me.

From my mid 20s I started to rely less on relationships. I started to enjoy my own company and found I didn’t need to be with another to be happy. Over the years I have found I enjoy my own company more and more. I love to sit at a café on my own, I like going to the cinema solo, and I can walk into a bar on my own and spend an hour by myself. No problem, I enjoy it. I often notice people rely heavily on others and find comfort in numbers, that’s not a bad thing, but it’s the total opposite to me. Whereby I love to spend hours with girlfriends and always walk away wiser and happier for it, I don’t need to be with others to enjoy my time. Christopher McCandless aka Supertramp hit the nail on the head for me with this quote: “You are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God’s place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things.” This resonates heavily with me. I think the expectation of others to make us happy is only going to wind up in disappointment. Friendships will sweeten the ride sure, but they shouldn’t be the basis of happiness in our day-to-day lives. Well so I think.

When I hit 40 I started to realise I disliked drama. I made a conscious effort to remove anything toxic from my life. There are some people and situations we cannot avoid, granted. However if I have the power to not involve myself in someone else’s drama then that’s what I will do. I avoid drama. I avoid grumblings and negativity and moods. God I hate moods. I have little time for the niceness one minute and the grumps the next, I avoid that too. And one thing I really learned when I hit 40 was that it is totally in my power to choose who I want to be around. Those folks that constantly complain about their life but do little to change it? Avoid. Those folks that gossip incessantly about their loved ones? Avoid. Those folks that belittle others to satisfy their own insecurities? Avoid. And it really is that simple. Your life, your power, your choice.

As I grow up (I am still growing) I realise time truly is precious. I don’t want to devote my time to toxic friendships or toxic people, I just don’t. And that’s okay, that’s my choice. I want to navigate my life in the direction of all that is warm and sincere. I strive to be that way myself, and I believe you do get what you dish out. So while I am not perfect, in fact far from it, I am learning, I am trying. And it is nice to know I have such beautiful, sincere friends holding my hand along the way.

Imperfect.

Some days I fail. I stress, I run late, I burn toast. I forget to book my child into afterschool care. I leave washing in the machine. I forget to put the bins out, and to bring them in. For days. I forget to return notes to school. I don’t make the bed. I miss appointments. I forget my own lunch. I get to after school care late. I forget to return calls, I miss birthdays. I don’t always make the best choices. And very occasionally I put myself ahead of others.

But every night when I kiss my son’s cheek a thousand times as he sleeps, I know I love him like no other. And he knows it too.

Tightrope

Image by Silvia Sani

I have always been a deep thinker. It is my both my downfall and my strong point. In earlier days I would overthink simple scenarios and create havoc in my head. As I have grown older (and wiser) I have learned to let go of the insignificant drama, so now my deep thinking trait works in my favour. I am one of those people that needs to dissect situations in my head to fully understand them with logic and less emotion. They start off emotionally charged then over the dissection process I wind up seeing situations with logic and sensible awareness. I hate the emotional level at the onset but I always love the outcome. Clear head.

I have never been one to wallow. If something isn’t working, I change it. I have some huge changes ahead of me, I know they’re coming as I am the one putting them in place. I am afraid, I am excited, I am cautious but eager. They are changes that will take me totally out of my comfort zone, and every so often when I stop to consider it I feel my stomach flip. The fear is what drives me, the not knowing and the idea that I will be balancing the tightrope we call life without a harness or a net to catch me. It’s okay, I want to take that risk. I am ready. And I know these choices will not suit others, but that’s okay too, they are not anyone else’s choices to make. This is after all my life.

I have always considered myself a doer. I procrastinate and I dissect a lot in my head, all the time. I think way too much, I have to admit. But one thing I don’t do is plod. If shit isn’t happening, I change it. It is as complex and as simple as that. Too often I hear people whining about their situations, yet see them take no action. That pisses me off. Don’t like your life, do something about it. I know my choices won’t please everyone, heck they might not please a single soul, but I can live with that. As long as my child is warm at night and loved like no other I am happy. I will forfeit riches and comfort in the form of the old treadmill we climb upon each morning when we head out to fulfill our duties every day for true, dead set happiness. In a heartbeat. The day I stop following my heart and setting out to wake up with true passion in my soul will be the day I die inside. I don’t want to die inside. I am a doer. I have too much passion and drive to die inside.

All that from thinking.

Perpetually happy

Image by me

I have just started reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I am always intrigued and inspired by others who seek out happiness. What inspires one to decide today is the day they will be happy forever more? Are some people naturally happy and don’t need to seek it out?

I don’t recall being overly happy throughout my early 20s. I had a great life, I had freedom and money and good things happened to me. But I wasn’t perpetually ‘happy’. I enjoyed myself yes, but was I content and happy with my choices and my life’s path? Not entirely. I didn’t know that then, I just thought happiness was a great night out with friends, a decent closet and nonstop travels. I didn’t differentiate between entertainment and enjoyment. In fact I barely gave it a second thought.

As I have matured (I’M 41 NOW PEOPLE!) I have noticed my quest for true happiness has become an ongoing state whereby I spend every waking hour being aware of the small moments. I don’t seek out happiness so to speak, I simply enjoy each moment and see the happy-inducing stuff in those moments. My son’s smile. A sunny sky. A laugh with loved ones. An afternoon of no agenda, doing nothing. I wonder sometimes if others see me as insipid; I’m floating around smiling at the air around me, lapping up the joy and the wonderful moments as they happen. It’s exciting to bits in my own head, I actually have little outbursts of euphoria whereby my heart flutters and my tummy gets filled with butterflies, but on the outside the excitement is not noticeable. I wonder sometimes if I am dreaming, I wonder if these moments of happiness are all in my head. Are they?

In her book Gretchen Rubin talks about turning every day moments into happy moments. I get this. I found myself nodding at her words. She made a conscious decision to stop the negative internal monologue. I pity people that allow and encourage that negative internal monologue, personally I hate and avoid it. It makes me want to punch it in the head – take that negativity, go be negative elsewhere! I choose to be positive and enjoy my days, as that is what makes me smile. Think of a time you have had negative thoughts and I bet you weren’t smiling.

Happiness is a choice, and just like every other choice of action we make in our lives, it is a choice only the individual can make. 

I know what I choose.

Happy birthday to me!

| image: luna.999 |

A lot of people aren't happy about turning 40, I have to say I loved it. This past year has been my most productive yet in terms of self-development and self-awareness. As I approach my 41st birthday I look back on the past year as one of realisation and growth. 

My ‘oh crap I’m getting old’ year was 26. I really struggled with the thought that I was approaching 30. In my early 20s I thought 30 was OLD. I used to look at 30-somethings as old. So when 26 arrived I had some fun trying to make myself feel ‘young’ again. 30 was awesome. I got married at 29 and had my son at 30; this is when I really started to feel alive, and happy. And although the decade of my 30s was a happy one, I did also go through some of my most difficult years which resulted in me embarking on my path of self-development.

40 brought about a more mature me, one that didn’t feel the need to impress others or behave a certain way to please others. Self-awareness raised its head and I liked it. I learned to speak my mind and to express myself more. This past year has seen me take back my power and start realising and accepting my self-worth. I like it. I like the wisdom that comes with age.

So as I hit 41 (ok that does sound old) I don’t really wish for much. When my husband asked what I would like I honestly couldn’t think of a thing. I have all that I need and want. My only wish would be for continued fulfillment and happiness for me and my family. I approach it with positivity and lots of drive. 

As part of my birthday month I have decided to donate all proceeds from my eBook The Self-Love Guide for the Working Mum for the month of March to Cate Bolt's Ringdikit project. You can read more about that here. So if you don't have a copy of my eBook yet, now is the time! Or, why not buy your best friend or sister a copy. Not only will they get a gift in my eBook you'll be contributing to a very worthy cause.

Happy birthday to me!