Friday, 13 January 2012

Why being a grown-up rocks!



When I was in my early 20s I thought anyone over 30 was ‘old’. Not that I thought that was bad, I just thought 30 was old. I remember speaking to 30-somethings thinking they were so mature, and old. Then when I hit 26 I had my petrified-to-get-old moment, and briefly pined for the youth of my early 20s. Then I hit 30, got married, had a baby and realised life had in fact only just truly started.

I love that I can look back and laugh at my younger self, thinking I knew it all. That arrogance I had when I was in my 20s must have annoyed more mature folks. What did I know? Not a lot.

♥ I like that I am now less selfish. As a teenager and 20-something it was all about me. My focus barely extended outside of me and what I needed or what I wanted. I look back and cringe at the way I put myself before everyone else. Now I am glad my heart genuinely puts others first. And I am glad that I naturally want to help others and am much more considerate of others’ feelings and needs.

♥ I don’t miss the disco-‘til-dawn days. God I don’t miss them! How did I ever enjoy rolling out of clubs at dawn, smelling of cigarette smoke, to then spend half the day in bed? Some of my favourite memories are of when I travelled in my mid 20s, staying out all night and sleeping all day without a care in the world. But how did I do it back home with a job to go to, spending my days off sleeping to feel human again? Although they were fun at the time (some of my favourite laughs are from those days) I sure don’t miss that.

♥ I dress much more appropriately…and comfortably. Sure I wear stilettos but how on earth did I wear strappy shoes with toes exposed and summer clothes in winter in the middle of the night? Slave to fashion all right. Ridiculous.

♥ I love that I am more comfortable in my own skin. Having toned pins and thinking I was ‘fat’ in my 20s was not very comforting. The lack of self-esteem and worrying about how I looked can’t have been fun, not giving a toss is!

♥ I love knowing myself better. I can think for myself and make choices based on my own past experiences and thoughts. When I was younger I was more easily influenced by others and could easily sway my own opinion by the opinions of others. I had less sense of self and didn’t understand or appreciate consequence as well as I do now. I love the stability that comes with age.

♥ I have developed tastes and interests that are my own and are less influenced by others. I enjoy things because I enjoy them, not because I see others enjoying them. I have also developed interests that I have acquired from my family, in particular my mother. Things I didn’t have an interest in as a 20-something are now the very things that bring me joy – gardening, Finnish design, baking. I am also curious about so many more things – art, crafts, cooking, good food, people, music other than hip hop!

♥ I love being a grown-up. I loved the carefree disco days with girlfriends, the travel, and the lack of financial responsibilities of mortgage and grown-up commitments, however those days were fleeting. Now I feel like I am really living – up until my 30s I was kind of floating along, not really sure where I was meant to be or where I was going. I love the confidence and drive that comes with being a ‘grown-up’.

♥ I care a bit more about the world. I don’t recall having much of a grasp on anything outside of my bedroom as a younger person. Closet, fridge, bed. Nightclubs, work, friends. Now my interests range so much further than the little circle I lived in as a younger person. My concerns run wider than how much money I have or what I will wear on Saturday night, and I love that.

♥ I love the confidence to speak my mind that has come with age. When I was younger I often bit my tongue, mostly as I wasn’t keen on conflict but also I didn’t have the skills I have now to speak my mind without offending. I like that although I have put my foot in my mouth many times in the past, I now have the knowledge and experience in knowing how to speak to people honestly without offending. I also don’t take offence when people are honest with me.

♥ I love that I can be me, daggy, old me. I no longer feel the need to be ‘cool’. I can drive in silence and don’t need loud music to entertain me. I enjoy my own company. I don’t get bored. I am not afraid to get old, in fact I look forward to it.

♥ And mostly I love that I can now enjoy the small moments. As a 20-something I had no idea what small moments were, let alone know how to really enjoy them. I love that I now get that small moments are what make life truly amazing. All the disco-‘til-dawn days (and there were a few) can never, ever compare to that.

20 comments:

  1. great post peggy. no, the disco days do not compare. we are growing into wise old owls now :) and i love nothing more on some days to drive in silence. the serenity. enjoy the weekend lovely lady. xo.

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    1. That's so true Veronica, wise old owldom is awesome! I often put my radio on in the car to only turn if off seconds later. I love the silence and the serenity too.

      Enjoy your weekend too lovely. xo

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  2. Absolutely agree - with every last sentiment.
    I wouldn't change my youth for the world - but I don't want to go back to it either. What I have now is immeasurable in comparison.
    A goegeous post.
    :-)

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    1. Me too Shar, I loved my youth and wouldn't have it any other way. But I love life now as a grown-up. I still act like I did in my youth but with a little more knowledge. ;)

      Thank you. :) xo

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  3. Very apt this post, because only last night I was saying to my husband that I'm enjoying our thirties. I'm enjoying being wiser than I was, feeling more confident about the world, my values and what matters in life. I'm enjoying the stillness wisdom brings and the contentment. I don't miss the days of constant ups and downs, not knowing my place in the world. Such a great post Peggy.

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    1. Vanessa you're spot on about the confidence that age brings, I enjoy that too. I love no longer having that underlying lack of self-awareness that I had in my early 20s.

      I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  4. I love this post Peggy. I too feel my 30s have been the best time of my life. Sure I had fun when I was in my 20s but being in my 30s has seen me grow up and appreciate everything much more, I have the confidence to enjoy my children and create my own style.
    I thought you were on holidays as I wasnt getting any updates that you had posted. I have just unjoined and rejoined and hopefully that fixes that now.
    Missed ya babe xxx

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    1. Thanks for re-joining, you're a darling. You have been on holidays though right? And thank you SO MUCH for sharing this post on fb. xox

      I agree with all of what you are saying about our 30s Sonia. I too enjoyed my 20s, but the 30s brought with it a deeper understanding of 'life' and I love the growth that comes with age. :)

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  5. Love love love this post - you hit the nail on the head with all of them !

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    1. Thank you. And thanks so much for stopping by and leaving me a little note. I love little notes. :)

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  6. I agree with everything you've said. I tell my nieces not to worry about things and that the best is yet to come. They probably look at me and think I'm ancient but one day they'll get it too. Isn't it great to reflect and compare and think, yeah life's good!

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    1. It is lovely to be able to reflect Teresa, I often say 'if only I knew then what I know now!'. Hindsight and wisdom that comes with age and experience are amazing things.

      Your nieces will get it one day, and they'll go 'Ohhhh Aunty Teresa was spot on, what a genius!'. They will. :)

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  7. Hi, I just read your post from Sonia's recommendation on twitter. I thought it was really great! I agree with all of your points entirely, but I wonder what the 20 yr old me would have thought??

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  8. Hi there, thanks so much for dropping by. Isn't Sonia a darling for sharing?!

    20 year old me would think she knew it all by then but would have had NO idea really. I wrote a letter to 21 year old me, it is somewhere here on my blog. It was fun thinking back to how I thought and acted at that age.

    Thanks again for dropping by and especially for saying hi. :)

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  9. And don't I remember your 20s! You used to tell me that you have better things to do with your life than gardening or paying mortgage for rest of your life. Home was a place to dump your luggage when you came home from your trips to overseas, never the less, I loved you the same. Now you are the most beautiful, graceful and thoughtful young lady. I used to tell my friends that Peggy will never have a child, she's not the maternal type. How wrong was I! I just wished I had your wisdom, your way of parenting when I was a mother in my 30s. I so admire what you have become xx

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    1. Oh my gosh Mum, I got teary reading this! You're so kind. I have never been called graceful before, that is some compliment! Thank you. You do know my parenting style is a result of my childhood, you are an amazing mother and I still have much to learn from you. I mean hey, you're the only one that ever made me speechless remember! I think me having a child was a surprise to everyone, including me. But funny how being a mum is what feels most right to me now. I think it is the one thing that comes naturally to me, not to mention I love it.

      If you admire me for what I have become I hope you take mountains of credit. xox

      ps...sorry for the luggage dumping, you know I love nothing more than to spend time with you (only wish I realised that back then). xo

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  10. i love this post.

    i read something jeff bridges said that i really resonated with -

    "as you get older, there's maybe something like a reverse vanity, where you just let your age go and not be concerned about it"

    now yes he may be 62 and i'm only 32 but i totally get what he's saying, as you age what bothered you once, doesn't anymore and it is so freeing.

    ~x~

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    1. I totally resonate with that statement too, the vanity part does kind of dissipate with age I think (well in my case yes). And it is SO freeing, I don't waste any energy on the vanity related things I worried about as a 20-something. Very freeing indeed. xo

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  11. I adore this list!! And I love being a grown up. Getting older is fabulous! xx

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    1. Isn't it wonderful! :) xo

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