Image by me
Inner calm is a state I have been trying to achieve for some years. I was thinking last week, in the midst of a crazy, busy few months, how much calmer I actually am these days. Situations that would have bothered me in the past really don't cause me stress these days, no matter how chaotic my day may be. I haven’t always been this calm though.
For most of my adult life I have been a stress head. Having an overactive imagination and being a deep thinker is a recipe for disaster when it comes to maintaining a calm state of mind. I could work up a mere thought into an imaginary dilemma of disastrous proportions, only to realise days later it was all in my head. It’s both amazing and ridiculous how the mind can detour and take us places beyond reality.
Developing a calm state of mind has been years in the process for me. Therapy, meditation, deep breathing and most importantly, learning to avoid drama and building on inner strength. It is amazing what crap we can avoid when we remove ego and pride from our thought process by approaching difficult and emotion driven situations with a level of detachment. By detachment I don’t mean not caring for others or others’ situations, but not getting emotionally involved and not taking on others’ emotions is key when it comes to maintaining inner calm. By not allowing outside influences affect our emotions and reactions we are less inclined to worry about circumstances we don’t need to be concerned about. Obviously this is not as simple when it comes to our loved ones as it is natural to be affected by situations involving our family, however I've found by approaching problems of those I am not so close to with a level of 'sympathetic detachment', my days are much less drama-filled. And calmer.
I have discovered that with inner calm comes inner balance. By removing emotion from situations and approaching them with reason and sensible awareness, we have the ability to approach such situations with a clear head and a sense of peace and tranquility. I have no interest in knowing why others make choices or what drives them to act in a negative manner. I have found that by detaching from negative scenarios I don’t take on the negativity. Feels good. Feels liberating. I can walk away smiling with calm in my heart and soul. Sure beats the days of painting a picture in my head that would create unnecessary drama in my day. And in our somewhat troubled and sometimes chaotic world my soul loves the peace that I create for it.