Be happy.

I am a big believer that we choose to be happy. Happiness doesn’t happen to us, it is a choice. We choose how we respond to life’s events and circumstances, so just like we choose to be angry, we choose to be happy. Happiness is not handed to us and it isn’t something we find, it is the way we choose to live. I truly believe you can be as happy as you choose to be.

I am happy by nature, I always have been. I can recall days where I have tried to make an active choice to be grumpy and I don’t last five minutes. Grumpy is not becoming, happy is. I sat down today and thought of ways I set out to actively be happy, I thought I would share them with you.

Be positive. Having a negative mindset only breeds negativity. When you look at situations with a negative outlook you will only see the negative aspects. Try looking at all situations positively and you will feel positive about them. Of course some situations just aren’t positive, but we still have the choice to try to view them positively.

Surround yourself with like-minded people. I struggle being around negative people, I really do. I don’t mind people venting (heck it wouldn’t be healthy if we didn’t all vent now and again) but folks that view the world with a negative outlook just bum me out. I choose to be around positive peeps, they inspire me so much more.

Be kind. Whenever I think of times I haven’t been my kindest I don’t look back at them with joy. Kindness feels so much better than being unkind. Think about how the meanie in kids’ movies is always a grumpy, nasty character, the happy character is always painted as the kind one. Makes sense.

Train your mind. Just as I choose to wake up and enjoy mornings (and I am a born night owl) I also choose to love life. I don’t always love every aspect of life but I choose to be accepting and tolerant of things I cannot change. Happiness is a choice just as is anger and sadness. Choose to feel happy and you will eventually convince yourself that you are actually happy. I have had days where I have felt like being unhappy for valid reasons, and that’s okay. But I realise being unhappy takes a lot more energy than being happy. And doesn’t feel half as good!

Only share the good. Whenever I find myself submerged in gossip or negative talk about others I walk away feeling ‘blegh’. If however I spend time discussing awesome qualities or events I feel great. Once I started to choose to avoid gossip where possible (actually is it always possible) I noticed I started to talk negatively less. Make a conscious effort to speak nicely about others, you will soon instill a natural filter and find talking in a positive manner comes naturally.

Strive for happiness.  Rather than seeking happiness in material things, a location or relationships, cultivate a happy state of mind. Happiness isn’t something that happens, it is something we are individually responsible for. I am happy, why? Because I choose to be. And it is that easy. Ask yourself what you can do right now to be happier. And then work on that a little every day.

Reflect. I love to reflect on how far I have come in all areas of my life. In my early 20s I didn’t strive to get married and have kids. I love to reflect now on how much my life has changed and how grateful I am for my family. Reflecting on small positive things every day eventually teaches you to appreciate the small things. Heck I find joy in a bunch of flowers on my dining room table! Yes, I am grateful for flora.

Indulge in your happy place. The beach is my happy place. I can’t believe not everyone loves the beach, it is just so lovable! It is in many ways the essence of who I am. I am my most happiest on a sunny, warm afternoon, on the beach with my boys. When I was younger I would dream about escaping the grind and spending my days on the beach, but I never did it. Now I do. I spend every day I possibly can in summer lazing on the beach, it nourishes my soul. And then in winter I daydream about it to get me through the cold. In dark moments I have imagined myself sitting on the beach, picturing the ocean and imagining the sound of the waves and the smell of the salty air. Even the thought of the beach helps to improve my state of mind.

Do more of what brings you joy. In my pursuit of a fulfilled existence I have discovered joy can be found in the smallest of moments. Afternoon tea by myself with my favourite vintage coffee set. Sunday afternoon on the lounge surrounded my inspirational reading material. Sitting on the loungeroom floor with my son and just chatting. A day at the beach. I don’t waste time thinking about what I could be doing, I just do it. I am not talking about jumping on a plane and hiring a yacht in Lake Como (although, a lifetime spent in a bikini on a boat sure would be nice) I am talking about something right in front of you, right this very moment.

Be healthy. I feel my best when I feel healthy. A good sleep with an early bedtime and healthy, nutritious meals. Healthy body, healthy soul.

Be grateful. Sure I would love to not work and spend more time at home, but the fact of the matter is at this stage it is not possible. I am however grateful for my weekends, and I spend them wisely. I am also grateful for the opportunities working has brought me, I know I wouldn’t have had the same opportunities if I wasn’t working. Our lives aren’t always ideal and won’t always go to plan, but appreciating and being grateful for what we have can sure help create a happy mindset.

Act how you want to feel. Act grumpy, guess what, you will feel grumpy. Act happy, feel happy. Sounds easy doesn’t it? It is.

"If you want to be happy, be." ~ Leo Tolstoy