Friday, 22 July 2011

Head space not for rent!

When I hit 40 I was overcome with a natural desire to declutter, not just my living space but other aspects of my life. After much thought I realised that quite simply, what truly matters is what either inspires me, nurtures me or treats me kind. Anything that is toxic, cluttered and space-hogging is not my friend.
My family play the most major role in my life, first, last and in between. There is no place for ‘negative’ when it comes to my family. Now I don’t want you thinking although I am an optimist that I am naive. We have been handed our fair share of trauma within our family. Like the next person, I have faced my own personal demons and had to deal with (am still dealing with) loss. What I am talking about is day-to-day dealings with situations that are negative and bring a dark cloud over my life and/or my family. Not going to happen if it is within my control.
Along with my sudden desire for clarity by removing all that clutters my space, my mind, my heart, I also decided to take back the power of me. What I did not recognise before this point of realisation (which stretched out over about 4 or so weeks) was that I had, in my generosity, handed that power to others and was allowing myself to be affected by others’ insecurities and issues. My head space was being occupied rent free by individuals (without them even realising they had moved in) and I was allowing my thoughts and actions to be dictated by the behaviour of others. This is where I took a huge step to the side, muggy thoughts to the back, and put me first.
So starts the decluttering.
First stop: my closet. I emptied that baby out, gutted it and had a new one installed. All my must-haves and stuff I wear was placed in its spot. Everything else went. Too easy.
Second stop: my study. I had ‘thought’ about tidying that room out from the day we moved in 3.5 years ago. My head was cluttered with the thoughts of decluttering, it just never made it beyond my head. So starts the famous clean out. Every single thing came out, was sorted, boxed and put in its spot. The result was a floor that didn’t occupy piles of stuff and the tidiest display I have seen in that space since it was empty (this did take me an entire weekend, but was so worth it).
Last stop: my head space. I have to mention that I have help with the decluttering of my head space from a few different sources on an ongoing basis. My Mum (Mum does know best), my best friend (she is a 5’ nothing tower of wisdom and knowledge - don’t ask me how she knows, she just knows!) and a professional source I will refer to as J. With the genuine love and sincere concern I get from these sources I came to realise that it does not matter who thinks what of me, this is me. I am loved and supported and encouraged by those that mean the most to me, yet I was allowing my head to be consumed with toxicity and negativity. So decluttering of head space commences. Months later = a liberated me.
Recently at a gathering a few people were asking me: “What is it about you, you look different”, “Your skin is glowing, you look calmer”. I said it was my new hair ‘do and cutting out meat from my diet. But I know it was my decluttered head space that now has more room for love and support and all that is kind.
Drama be gone!


  1. Life is so much better without everyday drama. They say, you live longer without worry. Happy living xx

  2. I totally agree! Less drama makes more room for the good stuff. My Mum taught me that. :) xo


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